Happy Sunday :)
This week's blog topic stems from recent events that I have witnessed directly through my girlfriends' relationships and past relationships. As some of you may know, my signature line has always been, "this is why I can't have a boyfriend." I used this slogan frequently when I couldn't use "He actually did that? Are you fucking kidding me?" This line usually came directly after listening to my friends tell me about the stunts that their boyfriends/ex-boyfriends pulled on them.
Luckily for me, I have found the person that will never let me down. My friends will never have to question the legitimacy of our relationship and if you don't believe me; ask around. However, along with Mr. Right comes a great perspective on relationships in general. Before, I had an idea of what a relationship should be like and the way that two people should be able to successfully function together.
Some people believed that I had unrealistic expectations. Those people were wrong.
Now that I know that my idea of relationships is not only possible but also amazing, I can't help but try to guide my friends in the right direction when it comes to cutting out the bad seeds from their lives.
Today's blog isn't about the drunk guy that approaches girls in a bar. Today's blog isn't about the guy in your summer class that asks you on a date. Today's blog is about the repeat offenders. It's about the guy whom you have explicitly told that you are not interested in seeing them but they just don't seem to get it.
Now, gentlemen, I know that girls like this exist also. Don't get mad and say that I'm sexist. We can elaborate on the ladies a different day. We're talking about my friends and these idiots that just don't give up.
So, without further adieu, here is some advice for the gentlemen that can't let my friends go:
1. Technology is pretty reliable these days. When you call her, text her, email her.... she sees it. She saw your missed call, she listened to your voice mail, she read your text, and now, she's ignoring you. Why? Oh, because you broke up with her. When she wanted to talk you out of the break up, you didn't give her the time of day but now you're utilizing every form of communication known to man to try to get a hold of her? Come on. Don't Facebook inbox her a message asking whether or not she got your messages. She got them. Everyone knows that you only inbox someone on Facebook for two reasons a)you're planning a surprise party or b)you're a stalker.
2. When you tell a girl that you don't want to date her; stop asking her to hang out. Every girl understands what you want from that point on... and it's not to take her out for expensive dinner. If you've found a girl with little to no self respect then good for you, you get the best of both worlds. If you found one of my friends; jokes on you. If you aren't looking for a girl to date, pick up a girl at the bar, don't try to recycle someone that may or may not have an emotional attachment to you.
3. Never underestimate a woman's ability to get a date (or anything else for that matter). If you think that your ex-girlfriend is laying in her bed eating ice cream with a tablespoon while crying over your breakup; you are wrong. She may have done that for an hour or so. However, she bounced back and she did it quickly. In fact, she's probably drinking an over-priced cocktail with a hotter, taller man as I type this. Don't get mad, you asked for it.
4. Don't Snapchat her. Don't like her Instagram photo. Don't like her status on Facebook. You didn't see a gummy bear and think "gosh I have to send a photo of this thing to my ex-girlfriend." You didn't think her photo of her lunch was the coolest thing you've ever seen either. We see right through you. We know you're only doing that to make her think about you, even if it's for a minute. Don't be selfish. She has a date tonight.
5. Even if she may not be able to figure it initially, she has me, or a friend like me to straighten her out very quickly. If you are using my friend I will talk her out of hooking up with you in a heartbeat. It's what girls do for one another. Have you ever tried to dance with a girl at the bar and one of her friends pulled her away and asked her to come to the bathroom with us? Yeah. Well, we didn't actually have to use the bathroom, we were just trying to save her from you. We do stuff like that all of the time, and we will do it when we realize your non-relationship antics.
With that being said: GIRLS OPEN YOUR EYES. If you ever question the legitimacy of your relationship read the We Aren't Dating Epidemic blog post from a couple of months ago. You won't be sorry.
I hope that everyone has a great week, I love you all,
Here's to enjoying this heatwave and avoiding terrible human beings,
Xoxo
