Happy Tuesday, Everyone! I had the most perfect weekend in Columbus with Cory and his family. They are all the most wonderful human beings on the face of the earth and I am so thankful and blessed to know them. Special thank you to my sister Chloe for keeping me laughing all weekend. You're so pretty. Lylas more.
However, Andrea told me that she is tired of hearing about my perfect life and specifically requested that I write a blog filled with tips for high school graduates moving to college.
Just so everyone can understand that my life is not perfect, you should all know that someone urinated in my fitting room yesterday so..... that was awesome.
Now, without further adieu......
1. Always keep your liquor in a water bottle. But, don't forget that all of your water bottles in the refrigerator aren't actually water. Freshmen year I watched a girl in my dorm chug a water bottle after a long run. It wasn't water. The result wasn't pretty.
2. If there is any chance that you may have a hungover throw up session, do not go to class. I've seen too many people throw up on themselves, their desk, and their lab partner. Save yourself the embarrassment and remember to drink less next time.
3. Your undergrad major really doesn't have any effect on your life whatsoever. For some reason everyone's major is always the topic of conversation. Your future career either won't care about what your major was or will require you to continue your education.
4. Spend the extra two dollars for the better liquor is completely worth it. Your stomach will thank you later. Freshmen year I could drink vladamir vodka like a champion. Sophomore year, first day back, I puked on myself as I removed the shot glass from my face. Lessons learned.
5. If you enter a party with more than five people, everyone will immediately know that you are a freshmen. Take your stupid lanyard off of your neck. Everyone knows what college you go to (because they go there too) and you can keep your keys in your pocket or purse.
6. Find a friend to go to the gym with and MAKE each other go. The dreaded "freshmen 15" really does exist and most people will gain more weight than that. Running into your fellow high school classmates at your local grocery store will be the highlight of your Christmas break.
7. If you buy a single book at the bookstore, you're too dumb to be in college. I mean seriously. Get a book list early on and buy or rent your book from a website. Don't anticipate any cash pay out when selling your books back at the end of the semester. Your 18th Century World History book will somehow miraculously have a new addition printed between September and December; making your edition absolutely useless.
8. Take advantage of your first year of classes. They are a cake walk. When junior and senior years roll around, you'll kick yourself for getting a C in that jazz class or freshmen seminar. Ultimately, those freshmen classes count for the same number of credits as your biology class and advanced composition.
9. The cafeteria food will make you shit your pants for the first couple of weeks. Just go with the flow, your body will adapt. If there is a food store within walking distance, go there for fruits and vegetables regularly.
10. Smoking cigarettes doesn't make you look cool no matter how funny you think it is at the time. It will only ensure that no one will kiss you that night.
11. Popularity no longer exists. If you think you're in the popular crowd in college, go back to high school, you're lost.
12. There is always one person that feels the need to share their opinion about everything in class. If you look around and you can't figure out who that person is.... it's you. So, stop talking because no one else around you wants to hear you keep blabbing on and trying to make irrelevant connections. We call this person the Classhole.
I was only supposed to list ten but I couldn't stop writing. I hope everyone has a very productive week and I will speak with everyone soon.
Here's to heeding the aforementioned advice,
Xoxo
