Sorry for the continued delay in my blog posts. I failed to post on Monday morning because I went a little too hard on Sunday night bonging beers for a the Super Bowl that I really didn't care about much at all. Regardless, my friends and I had a blast enjoying our rendition of Sunday Funday.
And now, moving on to the topic at hand...
Over the last couple of weeks I have been dabbling in the idea of deleting my Facebook account based on a multitude of reasons. Honestly, I don't really even know half of the people I am "friends" with on here, and I have a difficult time being rude to most people. Therefore, I talk to almost anyone that messages me, which has gotten me into trouble with some crazy people that genuinely believed that Facebook messages mean that we are partaking in a legitimate relationship with one another.
After talking to some friends about the possibility of deleting my account, we came up with the idea that I would only sign onto it to post witty statuses and that I would continue to promote my blog weekly. Just when I thought I could come to terms with the overwhelming and continuous engagement announcements and wedding photos, I signed onto my account early this morning to see that at the tippy top of my news feed, there was a photo of a girl's pregnant stomach.
Hold the fucking phone.
If you have come to a point in your life that you want to have babies, good for you. I mean it, good for you guys. But I am not at that point in my life, and I do not want to see what happens to your body when you decide to have a child. In fact, I am already absolutely mortified by the idea of having children. She sheer thought of being pregnant makes me physically ill. So, when I log onto a social media website, the absolute last thing that I want to see is your stomach stretched out with a baby inside of it.
You want to capture the moment? Fantastic. I don't blame you. If and when I grow up and decide to have babies, perhaps I will find the need to photograph my belly too. But, rest assured, I will not post my belly pictures for the world to see.
This morning, just as I took my first sip of coffee and clicked on the Facebook app, I shouted out in fear and disgust, "GROSS! You have to be kidding me." As you could imagine, a man sitting next to me asked, "What's wrong?" And when I showed him the belly pic at the top of my news feed, he began telling me about a strategy that he has implemented in order to avoid these pregnancy pictures. When one of his "friends" uploads a belly pic, they automatically get deleted from his feed and when one of his other friends "likes" or comments on said belly pic, they get deleted from his feed also. I think that this is a good temporary fix, so I am going to try that this week.
Also, while we are on the topic... the sonogram pictures freak me out too, specifically the 3D ones. Unless you intend to change your Facebook name to "The Fetus of (your name)" then please please please do not make your profile picture your sonogram photo.
I think that someone should create a new social network aimed specifically for pregnant women. Here, they would be able to share belly pictures and sonogram pictures in an outlet aimed specifically to them. I would call it Pregstagram. If you weren't pregnant, but you enjoyed seeing stretched out stomachs, you could join the site also. At least then, those subscribed would know just what they are in for.
If this post offended you, I apologize but, you are probably the same people that offended my state of mind early this morning.
Additionally, I would like to say hello and I love you to Mary Kate Fullerton and Molly McGregor, because the two of them have been begging me for a blog shout out since the inception of the blog. I will be in NYC next weekend, so I better see you two beauties.
I'll write promptly next week, but in the meantime...
Here's to avoiding the things that absolutely gross us out,
Xoxo <3
