Happy Tuesday morning, everyone!
Please forgive me for my lengthy interim period of blogging (or a lack there of). I have been very busy but don't you worry- I have got some material for you. Special thank you to Andrea, who reminds me every day how long it has been since I last blogged and guilt tripped me into writing this very entry even after I ran inclined intervals and did yoga.
If you know me at all, you know that when I make a mistake or when I am blatantly wrong, I always say so. Now, if I didn't tell anyone about this, they would never know. However, I think this story is important to share. Two weeks ago I got ready and headed out to the bars with my girlfriends and did not return to my house until the next morning. When I got home and walked into my bedroom, there was a strange smell in my room that much resembled that of a toaster oven.
I walked across the room to find that not only had I left my straightener plugged in, but I had also left it on the floor directly on my carpet. I am telling this story because I want everyone to know that I'm an idiot but more importantly, I am telling this story because I want everyone to know that my carpet is perfectly fine. No holes, no burn marks... nothing. Additionally, I have knocked over nail polish remover on the carpet and no, it did not burn a whole through it. The moral of this story is that my mother (and probably yours, too) lied to me through the duration of my childhood.
Moving right along...
This blog topic has been inspired by conversations that I've recently had with my girlfriends regarding their relationships. Now, allow me to quickly emphasize that the following statements that came out of their stupid mouths are the exact reason that I consistently continue to only consider the gym as my boyfriend. The gym doesn't say dumb or hurtful things, just saying. I repeat, the following statements are things that my friend's boyfriends ACTUALLY said to them.
"You're smaller than me, so I should be eating more than you. Don't eat my food."
You would actually have to be an idiot to say something like this to anyone, especially a girl. I am 5'9 but I probably have a stomach the size of an acorn. I am sure that I am "bigger" than some men and I am absolutely certain that they eat more than I do. Your logic, sir, is flawed. Additionally, all men should go ahead and never say anything about a woman's caloric intake. Oh, why? Because girls are crazy. If you make one comment about what we are eating, we will never forget it. Once when I was 13, my mother told me to "suck in my stomach" when we were posing to eighth grade formal pictures. I only ate lettuce for a week. If you watch a girl eat 100 twinkies and you don't like it then walk away and keep your stupid opinions to yourself.
"Yeah, you should be cooking and cleaning all day."
Ohhhh is that what you think? See that's funny. God bless the woman that has to deal with this man or any man that says something like this to her. Pretty sure that if anyone said something like that to me I would do a quick cooking AND cleaning combo by putting bleach into their dinner. Also, if your boyfriend/husband sits on the couch all day and then dictates orders to you and you still stay with him then YOU need to reevaluate your relationship and your life.
"You wouldn't understand."
HAHAHAHAHA. Oh, we wouldn't understand? Here's an idea, why don't you explain it and let our brains decide whether or not we can comprehend the words that you're saying? Instead of avoiding actual human interaction, why don't you set down your video game controller and work on your social skills. This week, I had a man explain something to me that I would not have otherwise understood without an explanation. So, I know that you guys are capable of doing it. Don't take the easy way out. You guys don't understand what it's like trying to carry on a conversation with someone that constantly doubts our ability to comprehend facts and figures. You guys also don't understand what it's like to have your period, and don't even get me started on that.
"I'll pay, I make more money than you."
Um, ouch? You know the kind of girls that like to hear that? The ones that wouldn't offer to pay for anything in the first place. Most times, we have a firm understanding of how much money you make and we certainly are aware of how much we clear after taxes. Girls offer to pay things because they are nice, not because they think that they are rich. If a girl wants to pay for something, just let her. If you fall for a girl that likes it when you say something like that, then I sincerely hope that you enjoy your miserable marriage.
Additionally, if you would not say something to a woman's face, then don't you dare text it to her. Here is what is funny about texting; it really makes people a lot more brave than they actually are in real life. Don't pick a fight with me through a text and then act like we are BFFs when I see you in person. If I say something in a text message, I mean it in the real world too. I won't forget what I said to you and if you were sassy to me via text I will be sure to repay the favor on the very next occasion that I see you. Don't talk a big game through text messages and then be timid in person. No one has time for that, literally.
I hope that everyone has a fantastic week of work and gets a chance to enjoy the warmer weather this week. I'll be distance training on Wednesday at the park if anyone would like to join.
Here's to using our brains before we produce words,
I love everyone.
Xoxo
