In past weeks, I've been told countless times that I'm too happy, high on life, and that it's simply not possible for someone to be this happy all of the time. In fact, it is possible for me to be this happy all of the time, and here's how:
As far back as I can remember, my childhood and young adult years were plagued with the horrendous memories of countless trips to the hospital to visit my father whom, no matter who you asked or how many years of medical experience they had would tell you, was dying. As a child, I was told that my father was "made up of other people's body parts." In later years, my mother would elaborately explain to me what an organ transplant was. She would explain it in terms that were incomprehensible to a young mind, but I tried to keep up as much as possible.
In 1985, before my time, dad received a kidney transplant from an anonymous donor who had perished in a motorcycle accident. When he received the transplant, he also contracted Hepatitis, which was undetectable at the time. My father would spend the next 23 years fighting the disease, waiting on transplant lists, living in the hospital, and forgetting what it was like to lead a normal life.
In 2005, the disease had shut down his transplanted kidney. After a few short months on the waiting list, dad received a new kidney transplant. In 2006, the disease shut down his liver. In 2007, after 14 false alarm trips to the hospital and/or ineligible donors, my father received his first liver transplant. Two months later, that transplant failed, and the unimaginable amounts of anti-rejection drugs shut down his transplanted kidney as well. For the next year and a half, every holiday would be spent in the hospital. Doctors would give us time limits on my fathers life. He would be deemed ineligible for further transplants. Essentially, his life was doomed. In order to become eligible to receive further transplants, his hepatitis needed to be under control.
In late 2008, a doctor appeared in my fathers 11th floor hospital room to propose a new drug to him. "There is a 10% chance that this drug will help fight off your hepatitis." To us, 10% was better than any other option we'd heard. After months of receiving the drug, my father tested negative for hepatitis: a medical miracle. In 2009, my father received his second liver transplant. This time, it worked. Later in 2009, we found out that my mother was a blood and tissue match for my father. That same year, both of my parents underwent surgery. My mother donated a kidney, and my father was the recipient.
In all of those years of pain, ailment, and anguish, I saw my father cry twice. Once, when he too weak to pick up his fork to eat dinner, and another time when he told me that he was "sorry he wasn't a normal dad and wouldn't be able to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day." I heard him complain ONE time; when he was unable to leave the hospital to attend my brother's high school graduation.
Today, my father is healthy. He likes to play with the dogs, rebuild old cars, and complete household construction projects.
If he didn't complain about a constant battle against death, what could I possibly have to complain about? When a life that you value is jeopardized, you tend to see your own life and the world in a different light. This blog is to inspire change in the way we function. It shouldn't take a terrible series of events to force us to value each day on earth. And, if that is what it takes, allow this story to help you to value yours.
Your life is not the most stressful, you don't work more than everyone else, you will over come your obstacles; these things, I can assure you. If all else fails, when things aren't looking up, call me.
Enjoy your Friday, and every day after that... I know that I will.
Xoxo
Friday, April 27, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
Lessons From My Teenage Years
On the days when they actually show up for their shifts, working with teenagers is an absolutely amazing experience. I can truly say that I love every single one of my kids. They are full of energy, and tell me some of the funniest shit I have ever heard. Since we spend so much time together, I see them at their best times and worst times. I've witnessed the "worst times" particularly often with the 17-year-old girls. Often times, the same issues that upset the girls today are those plagued my teenage years. So, after counseling an innumerable amount of teenage breakdowns, I've realized that I have a thing or two to offer to young girls, based on experiences of my own. If I could go back to my high school years knowing what I know now, my life would be infinitely easier. But then again, not as hilarious or entertaining. Without further ado, here are some life lessons from my younger years.
*Other people's opinions of you don't matter, not even a little.
The only person that you can truly please is yourself. Not only that, but, no one else's opinion should have the slightest effect on your life what-so-ever. If I hear one more teenager tell me that someone made fun of them, I am going to drive to their high school and handle these adolescent brats on my own. People talk about you because they have boring lives. Period. These people talk about you in hopes that no one else will notice when they, themselves, fall flat on their stupid faces.
*Stop shopping.
It doesn't matter who made your jeans, where you bought your shirt, or whether or not your diamond earrings are real. In high school, people may give a shit, but thereafter it simply doesn't matter. In your later years, no one gives a crap how much your clothes cost. So stop wasting your time, effort, and parent's money.
*You will not be friends with these people in 10 years.
In high school, leaving your friends to go away to college seems like the worst thing that has ever happened to you. Truth is, it's not. You'll meet new friends in college. And, while you may stay friends with a few of the people you went to high school with.... you eventually grow apart and forget about each other. Next thing you know, you'll see them at the deli and Giant Eagle and think "how the fuck do I get out of not talking to this person?" It's the truth. If you don't believe it, talk to me over Thanksgiving break this year.
*Don't believe ANYTHING you haven't witnessed firsthand.
People LOVE drama, especially when it doesn't involve them and they can just be the messenger. Truth is, if you didn't actually SEE the talked-about event, don't indulge in the idea of drama. Making someone else's life miserable doesn't make your life any better. It just makes you a bitch.
*Geometry doesn't matter, and neither does algebra.
Unless you plan on teaching high school math, you will NEVER need to know this stuff. In fact, this blog post is 120% more valuable to you than learning geometry and algebra. Shout out to Tyler Walsh, who essentially took every single geometry test for me in the eleventh grade. Truth is, I got to college and still failed college algebra and had to retake it my senior year at Pitt. I still took honors college classes, made the deans list and attained an unbelievable about of knowledge. Don't cry over math in high school, you're aren't dumb... math is.
*People who think they're awesome will fall flat on their face in a couple years.
I'd like to preface this segment by saying that BY NO MEANS do I believe that I am better or more successful than anyone else. Hell, I work at the mall. But, I love my job and the people I work with. However, it has been my experience that everyone who thinks they are hot shit in high school and goes to college on a sports scholarship inevitably fails out of their classes, loses their scholarship and works at the drive thru. Your true proof of this will come, this I assure you.
*There is no such thing as "popular" in college, or thereafter.
In high school you are either popular or a loser. In college, everyone is the same. Everyone arrives to college with no friends and quickly tries to create friendships based on what dorm they live in, their major, or sport interests. In college, no one is popular... I promise. Everyone is just... there. You make friends that you are MORE likely to maintain friendships with over the years. In college you don't have to please anyone to be friends with them, it just happens. Life is simplistic. And after college, popularity doesn't exist ever again. So relax, let people hate you for four years in high school. Later, it won't matter.
*Men don't get more understanding with age, and we don't get less sensitive.
Boys/men and girls/women will NEVER think alike. When someone does something that hurts your feelings, TELL THEM. Men will never wake up in the morning and have an epiphany that they did something wrong. You have to tell them. In the same sense, don't be over sensitive. Guys tend to think they are a lot funnier than they actually are. When they say something rude, let them know that you don't think it's funny... they aren't going to figure it out on their own. Don't take their jokes too seriously. Most times they're just poking fun at you; don't cry like a baby. They are actually trying to make you laugh. Don't be crazy.
*Laugh.
Plain and simple. When crazy things happen to you, laugh it off. It could always be worse. Appreciate your life as it comes. There is no such thing as a rewind button.
I pray that everyone was able to take something from this. For those of you that are still in your younger years, call me when you think it's the worst day of your life... and I will talk you out of that feeling. Even if I have never talked to you, call me. Who do we have in this world if we don't have each other? I appreciate all of you. Have an amazing week!
Xoxo
*Other people's opinions of you don't matter, not even a little.
The only person that you can truly please is yourself. Not only that, but, no one else's opinion should have the slightest effect on your life what-so-ever. If I hear one more teenager tell me that someone made fun of them, I am going to drive to their high school and handle these adolescent brats on my own. People talk about you because they have boring lives. Period. These people talk about you in hopes that no one else will notice when they, themselves, fall flat on their stupid faces.
*Stop shopping.
It doesn't matter who made your jeans, where you bought your shirt, or whether or not your diamond earrings are real. In high school, people may give a shit, but thereafter it simply doesn't matter. In your later years, no one gives a crap how much your clothes cost. So stop wasting your time, effort, and parent's money.
*You will not be friends with these people in 10 years.
In high school, leaving your friends to go away to college seems like the worst thing that has ever happened to you. Truth is, it's not. You'll meet new friends in college. And, while you may stay friends with a few of the people you went to high school with.... you eventually grow apart and forget about each other. Next thing you know, you'll see them at the deli and Giant Eagle and think "how the fuck do I get out of not talking to this person?" It's the truth. If you don't believe it, talk to me over Thanksgiving break this year.
*Don't believe ANYTHING you haven't witnessed firsthand.
People LOVE drama, especially when it doesn't involve them and they can just be the messenger. Truth is, if you didn't actually SEE the talked-about event, don't indulge in the idea of drama. Making someone else's life miserable doesn't make your life any better. It just makes you a bitch.
*Geometry doesn't matter, and neither does algebra.
Unless you plan on teaching high school math, you will NEVER need to know this stuff. In fact, this blog post is 120% more valuable to you than learning geometry and algebra. Shout out to Tyler Walsh, who essentially took every single geometry test for me in the eleventh grade. Truth is, I got to college and still failed college algebra and had to retake it my senior year at Pitt. I still took honors college classes, made the deans list and attained an unbelievable about of knowledge. Don't cry over math in high school, you're aren't dumb... math is.
*People who think they're awesome will fall flat on their face in a couple years.
I'd like to preface this segment by saying that BY NO MEANS do I believe that I am better or more successful than anyone else. Hell, I work at the mall. But, I love my job and the people I work with. However, it has been my experience that everyone who thinks they are hot shit in high school and goes to college on a sports scholarship inevitably fails out of their classes, loses their scholarship and works at the drive thru. Your true proof of this will come, this I assure you.
*There is no such thing as "popular" in college, or thereafter.
In high school you are either popular or a loser. In college, everyone is the same. Everyone arrives to college with no friends and quickly tries to create friendships based on what dorm they live in, their major, or sport interests. In college, no one is popular... I promise. Everyone is just... there. You make friends that you are MORE likely to maintain friendships with over the years. In college you don't have to please anyone to be friends with them, it just happens. Life is simplistic. And after college, popularity doesn't exist ever again. So relax, let people hate you for four years in high school. Later, it won't matter.
*Men don't get more understanding with age, and we don't get less sensitive.
Boys/men and girls/women will NEVER think alike. When someone does something that hurts your feelings, TELL THEM. Men will never wake up in the morning and have an epiphany that they did something wrong. You have to tell them. In the same sense, don't be over sensitive. Guys tend to think they are a lot funnier than they actually are. When they say something rude, let them know that you don't think it's funny... they aren't going to figure it out on their own. Don't take their jokes too seriously. Most times they're just poking fun at you; don't cry like a baby. They are actually trying to make you laugh. Don't be crazy.
*Laugh.
Plain and simple. When crazy things happen to you, laugh it off. It could always be worse. Appreciate your life as it comes. There is no such thing as a rewind button.
I pray that everyone was able to take something from this. For those of you that are still in your younger years, call me when you think it's the worst day of your life... and I will talk you out of that feeling. Even if I have never talked to you, call me. Who do we have in this world if we don't have each other? I appreciate all of you. Have an amazing week!
Xoxo
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Don't Be Undateable
This post was inspired by a particular interaction that I was involved in at the Ross Park Mall. Earlier today, a short, white, teenage boy with a race identity crisis approached me. His body language stunned me; he was trying to flag me down with one hand, and hold up his pants up with the other. My initial thought process was, "Welp, lucky me, here comes another Shaler graduate." However, I always admit when I am wrong, and I was. As it turned out, the two of us didn't know each other at all. It is what happened once the boy caught up with me that baffled me even more so than his inability to un-tuck his pant leg from his timberland boots. He mumbled to me... and this is not a joke... "What up baby girl."
Now, there are two main reasons why what this idiot said what funny. 1)Because he was roughly 18, and I am 24. So, to him, I'm not a baby at all. 2)I watched this tool bag try to catch up to me for about 45 seconds, and all he came up with to say to me was, "What up baby girl." Wow. Groundbreaking.
So, after much thought of how to conglomerate this situation into a blog post, I've struck gold. This boy is undoubtedly single, and based on what I've seen of him.. he's going to remain single for quite some time. I've assembled a list of reasons that you may be single that both men and women can take a few things from. If you find yourself unable to attain a significant other, or keep them, you are probably guilty of one or more of these fatal relationship flaws.
1. You constantly put yourself and your feelings first.
Relationships involve two people, not just one. If something fantastic happens to your significant other, you should be equally as excited for them. Now, when Justin moved to Germany I cried like a little girl. However, I knew that's what he wanted, so I tried my hardest to be happy for him. If you only care about your own feelings and well-being, you will never find someone to put up with you. In the same token, when your significant other is feeling down, be there for them. Nothing should be more important to you than picking them back up again.
2.You don't have any friends.
This one is easy. If you can't find anyone that wants to hang out with you, even for coffee, it's pretty safe to say that you may be nuts. So, the chances of anyone wanting to indulge in a relationship with you are slim to none. Also, if you don't have any friends, that means that you will expect to be hanging out with yours truly 24/7. Which is completely fine... if you are married. No teenager or 20-something wants to bring their boyfriend or girlfriend to a party and be connected at the hip with them for the entire night. It's weird, and it's creepy.
3.You think your jokes are funnier than they actually are (if they are at all).
Everyone has nick names for their lovers; honey, babe, sweetheart, dear... etc. I once dated a boy who called me "devil woman." The first time I giggled, the next 20 times I gave him a blank stare, and after months and months of being called that stupid nick name with no response whatsoever... it still continued. Here's a hint to everyone, if no one except for you is laughing at your stupid jokes, its because they aren't funny. I promise you, people are in fact paying attention to your stupidity, they just aren't reacting because they hope you will shut up.
4.You think your job is the most important aspect of your life.
Sure, work is important; it's what finances your hopes and dreams. However, Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City) once said that your job won't be there when the rest of the world walks out, and that bitch was right. When you have a bad day at work, you need to leave and have someone to talk to. If you think the only thing that matters in this world is your job, no one is going to stick around long enough to hear anything that you have to say about work or otherwise.
5.You think you're the cats pajamas.
Look, self confidence is fantastic, and at times it's important. However, I assure you that you are not the hottest person in the world. Often times, people who think they are better than everyone else have very few morals or standards, and no one wants what everyone else can have. No one wants some jackass that thinks they can get any girl at the club and no one whats the slut in the mini skirt on top of the bar. If you think you're really sexy, you're probably wrong. If you are really sexy, save it for the one you love.
6.You are dumb, or worse, you act dumb when you aren't.
This one is predominately for the ladies. Being an airhead was cute in the third grade and when Alecia Silverstone played Cher in "Clueless." The best thing that you can do for yourself is to stop watching Desperate Housewives and pick up a god damned book. No man wants to date some moron that spews word vomit every time she opens her mouth. If a man really loves you, he may consider planning a life and having children with you some day. That would require they two of you to help educate a child, and if you can't spell your own name, you aren't going to be much help in that matter now, are you? Pay attention in class, get good grades and read the newspaper. It's really the best thing you can do for yourself. Plus, intelligence is sexy.
I hope all of you could take something from this. If you got offended by this, you are either a)sensitive or b)guilty of committing one of these relationship fouls. Either way, I'm willing to help you figure it out.
That's all for me. Happy Friday, and have a fantastic weekend! :)
Xoxo
Monday, April 9, 2012
Shit People Complain About, and Why They Shouldn't
Before I begin to bash those who are perpetual complainers, I'd like to briefly recap my life experiences on earth. I am happy 99% of every single day. My existence is absolutely fantastic, and the sole reason that it's fantastic is because of my outlook on life in general, and almost every situation that I am faced with. Everyone has problems, and I've had my fair share of problems as well. However, the point of this blog post is about how to only worry about the things that you can change. Here's my logic: If you can't single handedly resolve the issue, let it go. If more people lived by this ideal, the world would be a better place. Call me Gandhi.
Now, with this being said, allow me to continue on to the crazy shit that people complain about, and why they should focus their attention on the positives of the situation. All of the following are things I have ACTUALLY heard people say:
"My boyfriend is mean to me."
Oh, is he? Well, have you ever seen MTV's Next? It's funny, and probably fake, but real life actually works that way. If someone sucks, move on. It has been my experience that, most times, you can't make them un-suck. People are shitty because a)they have terrible morals or b)they have bad parents. So unless you want them to bring you down or be stuck with weird in-laws for eternity, just move on. You will find another boyfriend (probably in a few days) and your life will be infinitely better.
"Planning my wedding is so hard."
Wahhhh is it? Well, you are getting married. Someone picked you, and that's a hell of a lot better than being alone. Planning a wedding is hard, because people have made it out to be some so-called enchanting day that is really just a glorified and over-priced prom. I like attending weddings, I like pretty dresses, I like hanging out with my family and I love wine (as previously discussed). However, if wedding planning is really getting you down, plan a more simple one. I am getting married on the beach, with very few people around. Mark my words. Honestly, if you're reading this, there is a strong to quite strong chance that you may not even be invited. If you are engaged- CONGRATULATIONS. Some people would kill to be in love forever, so stop complaining about the planning of the best day of your life.
"I sat in traffic for an hour today on the way to work."
If you sat in traffic on your way into the city, I think we should address two important facts of the matter. First off, you own a vehicle. Secondly, you live in the suburbs. Would you prefer to be riding the bus to work? Cause I bet you wouldn't. Would you prefer to live in an area of the city that you could walk to work? Cause I bet you wouldn't, as most of these neighborhoods are the ones we see on the news for shootings and prostitution. Luckily, for you morning commuters, your personal vehicle is equipped with temperature controls and a radio, cd player, ipod hook up, seatbelts, comfortable chairs.... etc. So, you've got safety, comfort and entertainment while you hang out for an hour.
"My period cramps hurt so bad."
Unless this is your first period, and you didn't know what to expect, please shut up. If you got your period this month, it means two VERY important things. 1)Your body has regulated itself, bravo! 2)You aren't PREGNANT. To me, a couple days of stomach pain is really the better alternative to carrying a child in your stomach for nine months, followed by a vaginal birth. Maybe I'm missing something. Oh, also, we have medicine to minimize your pain. So, rather than complaining, get yourself an over-the-counter solution.
"I can't carry a backpack to class anymore at Pitt cause there have been so many bomb threats, how am I supposed to carry all of my stuff to class?"
Unless you have no arms, I guess I am missing the problem here. After 40+ bomb threats, the university has decided to ban the use of backpacks. For as much as the students have complained about the constant evacuation of the buildings, there is something bigger that the administration is concerned about here... AN ACTUAL BOMB. Now, seriously, I don't know much about bombs (in fact, I don't know anything about them at all)... But, a backpack seems like a perfect place to conceal a bomb. Yet, here we go with the complaints. Now, I understand that there are a few exceptions, but, how many books does the average student ACTUALLY bring to class with them? Maybe one and a notebook. If you're carrying anymore than that, you're probably writing a research paper. Regardless, even if you're carrying five books in your hands, at least your safety has been taken into account when the administration made this decision. In essence, you may get tired arms, but at least you'll live to tell about it.
So, for the love of God, just stop. Someday, something actually terrible will happen to you... until then, just enjoy your life :) I'm off to go running now, 26 days left until my half marathon yayyyyy!!
Happy Monday to all of you, and enjoy your week!
Xoxo
Now, with this being said, allow me to continue on to the crazy shit that people complain about, and why they should focus their attention on the positives of the situation. All of the following are things I have ACTUALLY heard people say:
"My boyfriend is mean to me."
Oh, is he? Well, have you ever seen MTV's Next? It's funny, and probably fake, but real life actually works that way. If someone sucks, move on. It has been my experience that, most times, you can't make them un-suck. People are shitty because a)they have terrible morals or b)they have bad parents. So unless you want them to bring you down or be stuck with weird in-laws for eternity, just move on. You will find another boyfriend (probably in a few days) and your life will be infinitely better.
"Planning my wedding is so hard."
Wahhhh is it? Well, you are getting married. Someone picked you, and that's a hell of a lot better than being alone. Planning a wedding is hard, because people have made it out to be some so-called enchanting day that is really just a glorified and over-priced prom. I like attending weddings, I like pretty dresses, I like hanging out with my family and I love wine (as previously discussed). However, if wedding planning is really getting you down, plan a more simple one. I am getting married on the beach, with very few people around. Mark my words. Honestly, if you're reading this, there is a strong to quite strong chance that you may not even be invited. If you are engaged- CONGRATULATIONS. Some people would kill to be in love forever, so stop complaining about the planning of the best day of your life.
"I sat in traffic for an hour today on the way to work."
If you sat in traffic on your way into the city, I think we should address two important facts of the matter. First off, you own a vehicle. Secondly, you live in the suburbs. Would you prefer to be riding the bus to work? Cause I bet you wouldn't. Would you prefer to live in an area of the city that you could walk to work? Cause I bet you wouldn't, as most of these neighborhoods are the ones we see on the news for shootings and prostitution. Luckily, for you morning commuters, your personal vehicle is equipped with temperature controls and a radio, cd player, ipod hook up, seatbelts, comfortable chairs.... etc. So, you've got safety, comfort and entertainment while you hang out for an hour.
"My period cramps hurt so bad."
Unless this is your first period, and you didn't know what to expect, please shut up. If you got your period this month, it means two VERY important things. 1)Your body has regulated itself, bravo! 2)You aren't PREGNANT. To me, a couple days of stomach pain is really the better alternative to carrying a child in your stomach for nine months, followed by a vaginal birth. Maybe I'm missing something. Oh, also, we have medicine to minimize your pain. So, rather than complaining, get yourself an over-the-counter solution.
"I can't carry a backpack to class anymore at Pitt cause there have been so many bomb threats, how am I supposed to carry all of my stuff to class?"
Unless you have no arms, I guess I am missing the problem here. After 40+ bomb threats, the university has decided to ban the use of backpacks. For as much as the students have complained about the constant evacuation of the buildings, there is something bigger that the administration is concerned about here... AN ACTUAL BOMB. Now, seriously, I don't know much about bombs (in fact, I don't know anything about them at all)... But, a backpack seems like a perfect place to conceal a bomb. Yet, here we go with the complaints. Now, I understand that there are a few exceptions, but, how many books does the average student ACTUALLY bring to class with them? Maybe one and a notebook. If you're carrying anymore than that, you're probably writing a research paper. Regardless, even if you're carrying five books in your hands, at least your safety has been taken into account when the administration made this decision. In essence, you may get tired arms, but at least you'll live to tell about it.
So, for the love of God, just stop. Someday, something actually terrible will happen to you... until then, just enjoy your life :) I'm off to go running now, 26 days left until my half marathon yayyyyy!!
Happy Monday to all of you, and enjoy your week!
Xoxo
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