Good morning and happy Monday to everyone!
My weekend was originally supposed to be spent in NYC/Hoboken, but as we very well know, that region has temporarily become part of the Atlantic Ocean. Therefore, my trip was cancelled. I missed out on seeing my high school friends but I am happy to report that they safely made it out of their apartment for the weekend and will be returning back to their normal lives this morning. Sara assured me that we will go extra hard on the adult beverages when she comes home for Thanksgiving. Anyone that was present for my 24th birthday celebration, please contact Sara and let her know that my social drinking skills are sub-par at best.
Moving. Right. Along.
Now, I don't necessarily like Taylor Swift's music, but if you haven't ever found yourself singing (I use "singing" very loosely) along to any of her witty lyrics, you probably aren't human. For this post, I've decided to use some of her lyrics to relate to a few hilarious things that have happened to me in past relationships.
Before I get this party started I think that it's important to acknowledge that at the time of all of these mishappenings, I considered these things to be the worst events that would ever happen to me. Silly girl. So if you are a young woman, and you are reading this right now... sit back, and laugh at my life, and realize that no matter how big of a deal something may seem to you at this very instant, it is likely to be absolutely insignificant in the grand scheme of your life. Trust me. I would not misguide young minds, I'm here to help.
Taylor Swift says, "All this time I was wasting, hoping you'd come around, I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down."
How I could best describe this is: That awkward moment when your boyfriend randomly stops acknowledging your existence but... yikes... you have his season tickets for Pitt football. So yes, one time a boy broke up with me, if we can call it that. He kind of just, stopped talking to me all together. No calls, texts, nothing. Initially I thought maybe he had been arrested because he was a heavy drinker and usually did ridiculous things when he drank. Once I realized that he would have been released from jail after a day or two, I thought perhaps he was dead. Luckily for me, a friend of mine saw him out at a bar with another girl on his lap. So, at least I knew he was breathing. I guess the real question here was, when was it okay to end our Facebook relationship? I mean, we definitely were not dating. In fact, the possibility that he was dating someone else already was high. But, there was no official discussion of our relationship's end so...? After a week or two, I deleted our relationship and then the week of the Notre Dame game, guess who contacted me? A day late and a dollar short would apply here, but it was more like a month late and a Notre Dame game day ticket short because, well, I gave it to a friend.
Taylor Swift says, "Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in, flew me to places that I've never been, so shame on me now."
I think we all remember my beach boyfriend, and if you don't, dear Lord. For whatever reason, I thought that this kid was the best person on the face of the planet. Our on and off dating endeavors lasted, too long. Eventually, we broke up and then I found out that he was dating a new girl that recently went to jail. This, of course, came after he brought me to a secluded parking lot to "meet his friend." It was there that I realized that my boyfriend dabbled in drug exchanges. Fast forward one entire year, I receive a call from this boy telling me to check my email. I go ahead and do that, only to find that he has purchased me a plane ticket to visit him at his college. When I asked why he did that, I was told that "he bought himself me for his birthday." Needless to say, I didn't board that plane. I found out that he wasn't dating his jail girlfriend anymore, but that didn't make me any more interested in visiting New England.
Taylor Swift says, "And now that I'm sitting here and thinking it through, I've never been anywhere as cold as you."
Honestly, the worst thing that you could ever do to yourself is date someone with a perpetually terrible attitude. Yet, that is exactly what I did. Its funny looking back, because that isn't my style at all. But, I was stupid. I guess that's part of growing up. If the only emotion that your significant other shows is anger, don't walk, RUN away. I know that some people say that opposites attract but there may be a limitation to that idea. Liking different colors and rooting for different sports teams is very different than absolutely loving every aspect of your life and dating someone who genuinely hates everyone and everything about their own life. Lessons learned.
I am sure that I could go on for days about all of my mishappenings, but it's way past my bedtime and I have to work early. However, incase there was any question, "we are never getting back together, like ever" applies to everyone I've ever dated before.
So, ladies, whenever you think that your entire life is crashing down around you because of a relationship failure, just come back and read this post. Truthfully, you haven't seen the last of shitty relationships. From my experiences, there are plenty more where this came from.
However, I have recently learned that good people do exist in the world still. Though they may be rare, they will grace your beautiful life with their presence when you least expect it.
Additionally, T. Swift needs to stop falling so damn hard for everyone that's ever looked in her general direction and perhaps she wouldn't have so many terrible heart breaks to sing about.
With that being said: Here's to looking at every terrible relationship as an addition to a long list of things that we don't want,
It wasn't a waste of time if you learned a lesson (or two),
Have a great week, you're all beautiful.
Xoxo
