Dating Sites, Church and Human Rights

Happy Tuesday!! 

Sorry for the delay, and I will rarely ever admit this but I was quite sick over the weekend and Monday.  Special thank you to NyQuil and orange juice for bringing be back to life after a 15 hour nap.

As most of you know by this point, I was on the air last week with John and Dave on 92.9.  First and foremost, I had an absolute blast.  I wish that I could sit in on that show on a regular basis.  The guys are awesome and talk about some funny stuff both on and off the air.  I am thankful for the opportunity that I was given to hang out with them and to partake in an activity that I went to college for. 

On the show, the guys were talking about the fact that I was single and asked me if I would ever consider joining any dating websites to which I replied absolutely not.  However, I would like to this opportunity to talk about Tinder, the free dating application sensation.  

I first heard about this app from my friend, Geoff.  I downloaded it to see what it was all about.  I thought the concept was cool.  See someones photo, decide if they were attractive or not, and move on with your life.  If you liked their photo and they liked yours, you could begin a conversation with them. The idea, though vain, is actually pretty fun.  Unlike a dating website, everyone isn't on Tinder for all of the same reasons.  Most people that messaged me were just carrying on normal conversations.  A friend of mine told me that his roommate often hooks up with people from Tinder.  One of my friends has been on multiple dates with very attractive men that she has found on Tinder.  

Here is why it makes me giggle.  

Whenever you get a new "match" on Tinder, you get a notification that says, "Congratulations! You have a new match."  Congratulations?  As if you could never find another human being that would find you attractive in real life.  As you could imagine, I have since deleted this application.  

As far as other dating sites go, friends of mine have had absolutely 0 success with these.  In fact, they have only had slow let downs, some of which have lasted too long.  My advice; stay away.  My advice; stay single. 

Last weekend I went to Allison Park Church with my friend Amy and her family and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made  in my life.  The church was welcoming and was a great experience for me.  Allison Park Church has become one of my new happy places.  Pastor Jeff is a great guy with a strong message.  He also wrote me a really nice card that I received in the mail and I think we all know how I feel about cards.  I am grateful for Amy, her family, and the experience that they have provided me with. 

Though I believe in God, I also believe in human rights.  I believe in equality for all.  Someday, I will find someone to love with my whole heart.  And, when I do, I could not imagine being told that I could not marry that person.  I have many gay friends and it will have absolutely no effect on my life if they file taxes with their significant other of the same sex.  It has no effect on my life if my gay friend puts their gay significant other on their health insurance.  It has no effect on my life,  and it has no effect on yours either.  But it has an effect on their lives, because they are human beings and they have been deprived of their human rights.

There is no crossroads between religion and rights.  In fact, God loves everyone for who they are.  The bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman but the times have changed and it is now 2013.  Americans don't have slaves, genocides are looked down upon, and hopefully soon, your neighbor will not be able to have an assault rifle. 

We have spent our entire lives being told by our parents, our teachers, or friends and our superiors to be ourselves.  To stand out.  To be an individual.  To disregard other people's negative opinions of us.  But now, the gay community is depending on those with negative opinions of their lifestyle to decide the fate of their future.  

Someday, America will figure it out.  In fact, 73% of Americans under the age of 30 are FOR gay rights.  So if they can't get it right this year, our generation will figure it out in the next few years.  Either way, history will be made.

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes always perseveres.  Corinthians 13:4-8.

To opening up your mind, 
To pushing boundaries, 
To equality, 

Xoxo

Happy One Year to My Blog!

Good morning and happy Tuesday! 

I could not possibly be any more thrilled to be writing this blog that has come such a long way over the last year.  What started off as a hobby filled with personal thoughts has taken off amongst my friends and family over the last 52 weeks.  I am forever grateful for all of you that have made the success of this blog so simplistic.  As you probably could imagine, I aspire to continue to dazzle you with my hilarious thoughts and elaborate vocabulary for years and years to come.  

 This post comes just two days after my weekend birthday bender.  Rather than talking about how much fun I had (which I could not even convey in words what a blast it was)  I would like to take some time to thank all of my friends that shared my special weekend with me.  I cannot describe in words the sense of joy and appreciation I have towards each and every one of you.  I cannot express how grateful I am for the friends that I have collected over the years.  Every single one of you holds a special place in my heart.  There will never be another human being that can take the place of any one of you.  I can only strive to be half the friend of what you guys are to me.  I truly adore and value each one of you.  I spent the last week celebrating my life, and I'd like to spend forever celebrating our friendships. 

I would like to thank Andrea specifically for driving 6.5 hours to spend my special day with me.  Though you danced with me so hard that my glasses launched off of my head on multiple occasions, I sure did have a blast with you. Thank you to the countless people that called, texted, tweeted, and facebooked me.   Thank you to Ryan and Scott, that sent me little presents and love notes in the mail.   Thanks to the 16 people that came out to dinner on Friday evening. Thanks to Caitlynn for throwing the Saturday gathering.  Thanks to everyone that came out on Saturday, thanks to my Starbucks friends for the Sunday morning party, and thanks to the very few of you that made it to work on Sunday to wrap up my birthday weekend. 

I encourage everyone to check out my birthday photos on facebook.  I would like to include them in this blog but they are plentiful and they are tricky to embed into this blog format.

This week, like most weeks, will have a strong emphasis on work.  With the floorset setting, I will not have much down time.  However, on Wednesday my friend Amy and I will be on the Q92 morning show so everyone should listen to it! 

Congratulations to one of my dearest friends, Jenna, on her new job.  I am so happy for you.  I can't think of anyone that deserves to be happy more than you! I love you. 

Last but not least- this week's shout out goes to Drew and Izzy for always keeping me laughing at work no matter what is happening.  You guys are the best, even when you wear those stupid Hawaiian shirts. 

I will return next week with a themed topic but until then, 

Here's to appreciating those that surround your life, 
I am so thankful for all of you, 

Xoxo

What I'd Like for 25

Happy Monday and happy birthday week to me!  As most of you know, this is my favorite week of the year.  Generally, I spend 99.9% of my days and life smiling and loving the world, and during birthday week, that feeling is even more serious than the other 51 weeks of the year. 

In my younger years, birthdays always seemed to be a let down.  It seemed like, no matter how much planning went into trying to organize a party, it was always a flop.  However, in my last few birthdays, we have had a gigantic blast.  On my 21st, Julie and I went hard in Oakland.  It was at this point that I realized that drinking shots was not/is not my forte.  On my 22nd, some friends and I went to the south side.  On my 23rd, a lot of my friends made it out for the celebration but unfortunately my boyfriend at the time had yet to come to the realization that shots were not his forte and was removed from the bar after he screamed profanities in my face and pushed and pulled me over and over again.  On my 24th all of my Pittsburgh friends met at Nakama where Maranol ordered us a bunch of shots and Jesse quickly knocked them off of the bar, in their entirety. 

This year, Andrea is coming to visit me from Ithaca and we have quite the weekend planned with all of my Pittsburgh friends.  On Friday we are headed to the winery and on Saturday we will partake in a St. Patricks Day cook out and birthday celebration.  I am forever grateful for the friends I have that will be celebrating this birthday with me.  I can hardly wait.  I love each and everyone of you more than I can ever express through constant "I love you"s and longer-than-average hugs.  

For my birthday this year, I do not want any presents.  I have everything that I could ever need and more.  What I would like, however, are words.  This week, comment on my blog link, text me, inbox message me, email me, mail me a note, or send me smoke signals.  Let me know about a way that I have impacted your life in any way.  It does not need to be posted to the public, some things are better left as personal interactions.  Birthdays should be celebrations of life, and I'd like to celebrate my 25 years on earth by knowing that I have made a difference, someway and somehow.  If you feel the dire need to purchase something for me; popcorn, hummus and white wine are always safe bets.

Last week my blog hit 17,000 page views and that is absolutely wild.  I am so thankful for all of you that take the time out of your busy lives to read my little work of art.

This past week of work was stressful but left the girls and I with a strong sense of accomplishment and success.  I am thankful for you girls and I am happy to share last week's positivity with you all. 

On Friday, a boy tricked me into helping him find a pair of jeans before trying to hit on me and every 17-year-old girl that works for me.  He noticed the tattoo on my ankle and proceeded to remove his shirt in the front room of my store while I was wedged between the slim straights and classic straights.  It was a mortifying experience.  Looking back, I'm glad that it happened because it was hands down the most outrageous thing that happened all week.  After removing his shirt to show me his two tribal tattoos, he asked me if I planned on attending college.  I told him that I already had, and then I walked away as he yelled, "Let me guess, you have a boyfriend?"

Some things never change.

I hope that everyone has a fantastic week, get those messages coming.

Happy birthday to me, 

Xoxo

The "We Aren't Dating" Epidemic

As I sit down to write this blog with a very laaaaaarge glass of wine, I must warn everyone that this week's entry will be light on the smiles and happiness but very very heavy on the hilarity.  I encourage everyone to pull up a chair, and get ready to copy and paste this link to their friends.  

As many of you know, my history with men has been nothing short of a New York Times bestseller.  Yet, every single time when I think I have seen or heard everything that there is to see or hear, it just keeps getting better.  I'd like to think that, as the years progress, I am gaining a better understanding of the consistencies in the male species, particularly in their inability to gauge emotions of any kind and their overall disinterest in even trying to understand the way the female mind operates.

Over the last few weeks I have held countless conversations with my friends, both male and female, discussing the fact that I have absolutely no emotional attachment to men whatsoever.  In everyone that I have met since my last boyfriend, I just can't seem to stand anyone for longer than... two weeks.  This figure is very, very generous.  Yet, over and over again I hear from my female friends, don't worry, you just haven't met the right one yet.

The right one.  There it is; the idea that every human being has that one special person for them.  If we are being honest, and I know I have said it before, I think my one true love is the gym.  Zach also argues that I have an everlasting relationship with my career.  I digress.

I have tried very hard to turn all of my negative experiences with men into life lessons for myself and other young girls that are sure to experience a surplus of duds before maybe actually finding a human being that is even worth getting a cup of coffee with.  I use all of the bad things that happen and take preventative measures to make sure that I do not make the same mistake twice.  Every time I have any sort of interest in someone, I ask them a series of questions that I have created over the years based on failed relationship after failed relationship.  Yesterday on twitter #WeCantDateIf was trending, so I will use that format for my list.

#WeCantDateIf you plan on leaving the country.
                          This has happened not once, but twice.
#WeCantDateIf you have a permanently bad outlook on life.
                          Negativity is contagious, get away from me.
#WeCantDateIf you aren't educated.
                          I believe that college creates a well-rounded individual.
#WeCantDateIf you can't differentiate between to/too/two your/you're 
                          Because, it's really not that tricky.
#WeCantDateIf You are attracted to other men.
                          This one is self-explanatory, but it tripped me up once.
#WeCantDateIf You have children 
                           That's simply not my style. 
#WeCantDateIf You are a slow walker.
                          These long legs have places to go, people to see, and things to do. 
#WeCantDateIf You don't work out.
                          If I can run a marathon, you can hit the gym regularly.
#WeCantDateIf You drink and drive.
                          I simply don't condone behavior like that.
#WeCantDateIf You have a second, or third, or forth other girlfriend.
                           This one requires further explanation..... 

You see, guys do this thing where they tell girls that they don't want to date them, just so whenever a better opportunity comes along, they can jump on it literally and figuratively.  If they tell the girl whom they are having sexual relations with that they "don't want a girlfriend"  they believe that this can constitute as a loophole for a free pass on a Friday night when they hook up with the first girl that looks their way.  So guys, allow me to enlighten you.  If you tell a girl that you don't want to date her, then here are some tips for you: don't hold her hand in public, don't take her out to dinner on a regular basis, don't buy her presents, don't meet her parents, don't send her flowers.  Have any of you ever heard of mixed signals?

In my younger years I often fell victim to the "I don't want a girlfriend" or the "we aren't dating" epidemic.  However; as I grew older, I became the other opportunity for men telling the girls that they were dating that they "weren't dating."  As this habit became commonplace, I realized that the "do you have a girlfriend" question was rarely, and by rarely I mean never, answered in an honest fashion.  This realization occurred to me a few years ago and came back to pay me a visit roughly two days ago.  

Apparently, though, asking someone "do you have a girlfriend" makes you a "psycho."  You know, as if the sheer suggestion that someone may have a significant other is simply preposterous.  Here is what I can tell you, ladies.  If you have a bad feeling about the legitimacy of any sort of relationship or lack of relationship, trust your instincts.  If something seems amiss, it more than likely is.  Don't wallow in misery, simply move on.  We are better than this, and we only deserve the best.

And to you, gentlemen; how dare you.  Shame on you for doubting our intelligence and ability to gauge a shady and illegitimate situation.  It is actually offensive and childish that anyone would toy with someone's emotions or well-being the way that some of you do with multiple people at the same time. 

Is there only one person for you?  A soul mate?  Hell, I don't know.  You're asking the wrong girl.  But here is what I can tell you; a week, a month, or a year of no boyfriend at all is a hell of a lot better than a fraudulent and fictional relationship with someone who is your significant other only when it is good for them.  

And last but certainly not least, when you guys get caught in your labyrinth of lies, because you will get caught; take responsibility for your idiotic way of life.  Don't get mad at me because I put together your puzzle of extensive and what you believed to be well thought-out lies.  Admit that you got caught.  Don't call me names and don't tell me "never to text you again."  I'm sorry, did it seem like I was going to ask you to hang out tomorrow?  And also, when you tell someone "you will never hear from me again," and then you text them less than five minutes later, it really seals the deal on the fact that you are far from a man of your word.

I am an a young girl with a lot of energy.  I have a great outlook on life.  I smile as much as I breathe and I say everything that I think.  I have a job that I adore, a family that I love, and a bright future ahead of me.  I am intelligent and witty, and if you, for a single second, think that you are going to outsmart me or play me for a fool, then you have met your match.  No one is going to bring me down, and if you can't see how what I have to offer the world, than I have absolutely nothing to offer to you.

Additionally, some people should count their blessings that I gave up the F word for lent, because it could have been an ugly week for a handful of you.

Here's to keeping your heels high, and your standards even higher, 

Xoxo