Back to school is here,
The time of year we all fear.
Have mercy on us.
This is a quick haiku about what the month of August means to me. Just to be clear, I'm not the only individual that feels this way and if you have any friends or family that work in retail, ask around about their least favorite time of year.
August is to retail stores what Valentine's day is to a florist. August is what April is to H and R block. August is hell. It is a soul sucker. However, it gives me some of the greatest stories of the year. Now, Christmas is a different animal but allow me to share with you the difference between holiday shoppers and back to school shoppers. Holiday shoppers generally understand that Christmas is a busy time of year and when they have to wait in a line to check out, they know why. But, for some unknown and God forsaken reason, back to school shoppers have some sort of entitled feeling that I can't really fathom or explain.
Actually, back to school mom that is screaming in my face, your daughter isn't the only 13-year-old in western Pennsylvania that has outgrown her super-skinny jeans from last year. Unfortunately, she will have to wait in line to try on a new pair of jeans just like every other kid in the history of kids that was unsure of their pant size. No ma'am, we do not have any additional fitting rooms and no I am not the architect that designed this establishment. Yes, I know you think it's ridiculous, because you've used the expression "this is ridiculous" upwards of ten times in this conversation.
No, I cannot honor your coupon that expired three weeks ago. You see, there is a reason that there is an expiration date on the coupon. Once it expires, the system doesn't recognize it anymore. Oh, you want to speak to the manager? Well, you already are. No I'm not joking, I'm actually in charge here. After all, that would be a very shitty joke. I know you're thrown off because I'm young. Sorry for being successful. I'm also sorry that you cannot have a forever coupon. Again, I know that you believe this is ridiculous. You've mentioned.
Actually ma'am, the lights are on. No, I cannot turn the music down- it's either on or off. I understand that you think it's loud but we must be doing something right because every kid in Pittsburgh is currently in line for the fitting room. You'll never shop here again? I bet my right arm that you do because that kid of yours is spoiled rotten which is why you're buying them an $80 sweater even though they will grow out of it by Christmas. Now, that is ridiculous.
I could go on for days but we will leave it at that for now. I will also say that it's been about a month since someone urinated in my fitting room so, we've got that going for us.
Moral of the story is, I have been yelled at so many time over the last few days of business that I have originated a little defense mechanism known as the bucket of smiles. I fill this bucket up with candy and keep it behind the register so that whenever someone begins to tell me about myself I can take it all in, smile politely, and then offer them a blow pop or a mint. So far, the BOS has worked wonders in combating bad attitudes. It's one of the best ideas I've ever had.
Now, what makes this job amazing during the busy seasons is that the company always finds a way to give back to those that need it most. This back to school season, we are donating money to Autism Speaks, a charity centered around creating awareness and funding for children with Autism. From now through Labor Day, for every extra pair of jeans that we sell over the company goal, $2 gets donated to this charity. Last week, my store alone raised $412 dollars. If I need to get yelled at my angry moms for charitable purposes, I will do it any day of the week.
Speaking of charity, one of my best friends is running his first half marathon in a little over a month and he is doing it in the name of charity. Last week my blog had 450 unique views. If all of you donated just $1 to Ryan's half marathon charity, he would be that much closer to his goal. Let's change some lives and give to those that need it more than we do. To learn more about Ryan's charity and to donate, click here.
That's all for now,
Here's to being a little kinder to strangers,
Xoxo <3
